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Ritual of De-Coupling



You separated from a man or a woman five years ago. The nature of the relationship still lingers. It's annoying. Especially, if you both parted in a way that was less than savory and agreeable.


In the early 1990s, I was at an event led by a healer I was both working with and admired. She posited that separations in many cultures are done horribly. She counseled needing to cord cut. This is similar to the cutting of a baby's umbilical cord at birth. We link again when a relationship begins (specially when consummated sexually). The healer felt that if the separation is done cleanly and with the best interests of both parties in mind, the connection remains after the separation. It ceases to become a connection of mutual support. The cord has now become an energy draw.


Both parties are draining each other and don't know it.


An energetic connection remains.


The term "consummated" means "to complete (an arrangement, agreement, or the like) by a pledge or the signing of a contract)


I developed this decoupling ritual after hearing this healer speak. I prefer to call it a severing ritual as the arm movement in the process we imagine to be the sharp blade of a sword cutting through a gossamer thread.


The ritual is quite simple. With your eyes closed allow the image of the person you would like to de-couple from come to you. As this image crystalizes go to the memory and feeling of when you and your partner first consummated your love. Take in the imagery, feelings, and words of this moment. Get as near the consummation as you can and imagine a cord connecting at its peak. See this cord connected to your belly button at present. When you get a strong sense or visual of this connection visualize your partner when you saw him or she in their highest good. It is here that the ritual begins. Mirror the motion I present to you in the attached video. The outside edges of both hands are like blades. The diagonal cross is the blades severing the cord. Bring the arms up over the opposite shoulder and diagonally cross from this position. Each cross is done with an exhale. Each arm lift is done with an inhale. From here on out, we'll call these crosses, "strikes." How many strikes you would like to make is up to you. My first suggestion is that if your visuals and clear and easy, one strike from each side will do. If there is an element of uncertainty with what you are doing try several strikes or more until there is a somatic or spirit-driven response that signals the process is complete. When you feel the de-coupling process is complete lay both palms atop your belly button. This action can be see as an act of cauterizing or sealing your center. Take three deep breaths and release.


You can do this with one or several former partners in one setting.


You can do this with anyone you have had business relationships with.


You can do this after a first date.


It may or may not be important to do this with anyone you have had a sexual connection with. You'll know if it is necessary to do so.


The ritual is an act of reclaiming agency through action. Holding yourself accountable for your part to the relationship. Your part as to the necessity of the coupling happening.


It's not necessary to know the why.


It is necessary that you leave your then opposite and mirror in their highest good.


By your taking agency using this ritual, you not only cease his drawing energy from you, you cease your drawing his energy to you.


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